These 58 MLB players won’t have a nickname on their jerseys because they hate fun

Not every player in Major League Baseball has decided to wear a nickname on the back of their jersey the weekend of Aug. 25. Don’t worry, though, as we’re here to point out the nickname-less players, team by team, so we can collectively wonder why they are like this.

To save you from having to count: 58 players skipped nicknames for Players Weekend. Well, maybe 59. That one is a judgment call.

Red Sox: Everyone has a nickname, you’re off the hook, Boston

Yankees: Brett Gardner went with Gardner which, you know. The Yankees don’t wear their names on their jerseys, but that’s no excuse.

Rays: Corey Dickerson, I get it, your nickname using Dick probably was rejected by MLB. I don’t know what Austin Pruitt and Taylor Featherston’s excuses are.

Orioles: Seth Smith, what are you doing, your last name is literally Smith. Ruben Tejada will look like a real rube with his real name on his jersey. Wade Miley, Dylan Bundy, Richard Bleier, Donnie Hart, Miguel Castro, and Mark Trumbo: who hurt you?

Hisashi Iwakuma has issues with his shoulder, too. One of the pitchers they got at the deadline, David Phelps, has an elbow impingement, which always sounds like the most painful injury in baseball.

Plus, if anyone is looking to blame someone for the rise in homers, that blame once again will be focused on someone besides the league employing these players and tallying these dingers.

The Dodgers are 29-4 over their last 33 games, which is the best such stretch in franchise history. Of all the teams in franchise history, from Duke Snider and Sandy Koufax to Steve Garvey and Fernando Valenzuela, no Dodgers team has had success like this.

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Tony Romo insists he’s retired for good

Tony Romo can’t avoid the question of whether or not we’ll ever see him on the playing field again yet he insists any future playcalling will be coming from the broadcast booth only.

Romo appeared on NFL Total Access Wednesday where he jokingly said he would give it one last chance. Oh yeah, probably a good chance. We’ll see how it plays out. I think you’ll find I’m joking, Romo said while laughing. Like I said before, I’m done.

The veteran cornerback has not missed a single game in his career and is coming off a year in which he graded very highly by most advanced metrics, despite just one interception and seven passes defensed. His release from the Buccaneers had more to do with his salary and the progression of rookie cornerback Vernon Hargreaves than it did Verner’s level of play.

Over his seven-year career, Verner has tallied 15 interceptions, 70 passes defensed, five forced fumbles, and a defensive touchdown. While he’s never been the prototypical shutdown cornerback, Verner has been a reliable cover man despite having played under four different head coaches in a variety of different defensive schemes.

The Dolphins worked out Verner and Tony Carter just before training camp, according to the Sun-Sentinel’s Omar Kelly. Darrelle Revis reportedly reached out to the team to gauge its interest, and the team also considered veteran Brandon Flowers, per Kelly

During Verner’s time with the Tennessee Titans, he was a regular contributor to SB Nation’s team site Music City Miracles. Perhaps The Phinsider should give him a call.

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